"Truth to be told, gue benci politik Indonesia. Sangat, sangat, benci. Gue ga pernah kepikiran untuk terjun dalam bidang itu sebelumnya, mengingat buat gue dunia itu ‘kotor’ banget. Kasarnya, nyaris ga mungkin you could keep your hands clean once you drown yourself to it.
Tapi lama-lama, gue gemes juga. Rasa benci yang bertumpuk dan gemes kenapa politik Indonesia ga kunjung ‘waras’ mendorong gue untuk pengen mempelajari politik lebih dalam lagi, you know… so someday I could make it better.
Yes, gue pengen politik Indonesia membaik. Gue ga pengen itu perfect but at least I want to make it better. Dengan kondisi politik Indonesia yang membaik, masyarakat tentu ga bakal bersikap pesimis lagi dan syukur-syukur tertarik untuk bergabung di dunia politik. Indonesia’s political life is so needing some fresh, new, smart yet tough people to join in!
Dan ya, I want to be one of those fresh, new, smart yet tough people to change Indonesia’s political life in the future.
And what have I done to reach it? Hmm, sejauh ini gue mengakui, I haven’t done anything. Gue cuma punya motivasi besar untuk jadi jurnalis di bidang politik. Gue pikir, ga perlu-perlu amat jadi politisi untuk bikin politik Indonesia jadi lebih baik. Being a journalist is one of hundred ways to make it better :)
Soe Hok Gie bukan politisi, ‘hanya’ kolumnis biasa. Tapi siapa sih yang nggak tau efek tulisannya terhadap politik Indonesia? Walaupun mungkin nggak secara langsung, tapi toh itu bukti kalo tulisan itu sama kuatnya dengan actions dalam hal merubah sesuatu.
So yeah, sejauh ini cuma motivasi yang gue punya.
Tapi nanti, days to come, I swear it’s not the only thing I have. I’ll have my skills along with me to conquer it. Karena ga bakalan mungkin lo bisa mengubah sesuatu tanpa belajar. Memang susah, memang berat, dan pastinya bakalan banyak banget hal-hal yang bikin gue sakit hati dan jengkel, tapi kalo itu semua bisa tercapai suatu hari nanti, kenapa enggak?"
***
This was taken from my Tumblr. It was written on October 4th 2009, in my last semester of high-school. I just realized how scary I was back then, lol.
I mean, to have THAT much of determination is quite weird for my age back then.
Well I guess hatred could turn you into anything even if you don't want to. :)
My so-called 'political obsession' began when I was in junior high. I hated Politics back then. I hated it, with all my heart. The reason why I hated it so much was because me and Dad have this habit of watching the news every single night and discussing what happened around the globe. I hated Politics because all I can see was misery. The more I watch the news and figured out the news about Politics, the more I'm assured that this country was going nowhere. This country will self-destruct itself in several years ahead if they keep up with this kind of political system.
One night, I told Dad how I hated politics; that I would NEVER, never ever involved in any of that sickening subject. He drank his tea, stared me with his challenging look and said,"Why don't you change it, then?"
"Change what?"
"Change it. Turn what you hate into something you could like."
That was it. My cue. My call.
From that moment, I read newspaper everyday, especially the politics column. I watch news, I read a lot of books and every night me and my Dad would argue over the news we watched together that day. Sometimes our argument got very heated up and all that can shut us up was Mom's shouting from upstairs: "CUT THE CRAP AND GO TO SLEEP, WILL YOU?!"
It just... grows. Each and every day, it grows.
Who knows hatred could be your biggest motivation? :)
